No tutoring...no class...no family.

Today was going to be an awesome day. Tomorrow was even going to be better. My Physics and Calculus tutor who I see on TTh is out of town. Hence, no session. My classes are over until after Spring Break and my sister is flying into town with her new baby who I have yet to meet. Today was going to be a day of cleaning (which I hate) but I am lying here in bed. Though my sister will be in town I will not be seeing her (reminds me of my wedding day)... it seems that she is like the rest of my family who are completely messed in the head. These people fly back and forth like a mood is a carnival ride. Yet, I am the one who is supposedly the problem. Ugh. Long story short - we are not getting together, despite the fact that we live 1700 miles apart and will be within 25 miles for the next 3 days. I am being ambiguous, I know. I really don't want to get into it. But, she ended her email with ...

"I do hope someday to hear the good news that you have graduated and are a doctor. Maybe someday you and I will be on the same page, but until then I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers."

The deal is...the day that I am on the same page with them is the day that I have sold my soul to the devil.

I thought she was different, that somehow the pact we made when we were young (after years of watching my mom fight with her siblings) actually meant something to her. I thought that perhaps she could see beyond my mother's deceitful ways and see me for who I really am. But, she can't. All I have ever asked is for her to believe me.

My parents have what they want now. Me out of their life and their little angel on their "side". That's really too bad. I never wanted a lot. Really. It wasn't even tangible. I didn't vie for their attention nor act out in inappropriate ways.

Today could have been a great day. Tomorrow could have been better. Well, there is always Saturday.