I really can't stand people with superiority complexes...especially when they have absolutely nothing to be flaunting. I know, I know, "Hey, Dr. Underdog, you are going into the wrong field if you are turned off by egos." Egos are one thing. I laugh at most people...egos are entertaining. I have a couple of friends who recently showed their true colors. It was a total turn off. Each began speaking down to me like I was a child that didn't know her head from her back end. If that person/those people could have known the laughter that was going on in my head at those moments. Why is it that people find it so important to be that way? It is always a great "go to" for humor, but for some it is reality. What happened in those lives that leads one to behave that way?
Now, don't get me wrong, I am not blameless in this. I never claimed to be...but WOW!
I have often thought about foregoing the whole anonymous blog thing and spilling the details of everything, but it is times like this when I am glad I have left it the way it is. The only people who know whose blog this is are people that really don't "know" me anyway. I mean, they online know me and I have met a few, but the people that I deal with face to face everyday have no clue about this blog. This is where my head can take all of that laughter that has been stored up from people making idiots of themselves and it can run rampant all over the screen.
Laugh...it is the best revenge.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Way too often, when I tell someone the path I am on, I am asked what kind of medicine I want to practice. In other words, what specialty have I chosen before I even enter medical school? I suppose that everyone who chooses this route has an idea...at least SOME idea before they enter, I am sure that that notion is what sent them this way in the first place. I thought I wanted to be a pediatric oncologist way back when. Not a bad gig I suppose, but I am 32 now and fellowships are long. Not to mention, those peds patients come with parents. Bummer. Parents will keep me from peds I am sure. I was sure I wanted a career in surgery. Um, not anymore. I am sure the queasiness will subside, but I wasn't enthralled enough in the process to devote my life to it. Maybe oncology? Maybe, maybe not. Internal medicine or family practice? Likely. Most people aren't impressed by that answer. Sadly, most are put off by that answer as if it is not acceptable - as if doctors should all practice something with 15 PGYs. In what a pitiful position they would find themselves without their family doc. Mine is my go to. I trust her. She has made a difference in my life. She is committed and passionate about what she does. Does it require a scalpel to possess these characteristics? Not in my opinion.
Bravo to those who have known they want to be a urologist since they were knee high to a grasshopper and put the blinders on to any and everything else. I am not one of those. I feel like it would short change me and my future patients to choose a specialty before being exposed to all that medicine has to offer. If I end up specializing in whatever I enter medical school with a desire to do, then great. But, med school is to learn. It is training. Maybe I will end up specializing in liposuction of only the left pinkie finger. HA! Do they have a name for that? Besides, what possesses one to chose UROLOGY as a kid? That must have been one messed up childhood! ;)
Friday, June 15, 2007
I am trying to study. It is Friday night and I am not in the mood but I know I need to do it. Usually, I fall into a rhythm and I really don't want to stop. For a brief moment, I enjoy math. Tonight is not one of those cases. I am learning completely new material and my mind is not on it. I am trying, but something else consumes me. I was speaking with my mentor earlier today and suddenly she stopped. "Dr. Underdog, we need to change gears for just a second," she said. I sat there confused. She told me bluntly that she was going to have a hysterectomy and would be out of commission for about 4 weeks. I asked if she was OK. "Yeah...well, I will be." She told me about how she had asked about having liposuction performed at the same time but that, due to mass loss it was not going to happen. She joked about asking for a face lift as an alternative. We discussed how much weight she would lose as a result of the removal of the organs and she was surprised. I knew the numbers because my mother had the surgery done when I was in junior high. We joked on. She mentioned that "they" told her she had to have it done. In other words, this is not an elective procedure. I gathered that by her initial response: "I will be." She said that she would be available via phone and email until she is back on her feet... "You know how I deal with being down," she remarked.
I didn't press the subject very hard. I felt that she told me more than she needed to and I was grateful. But, it is obvious that this is not a benign situation and that is what has my mind right now. If it weren't for her, I would never be on this path in the first place. I would have remained a dreamer and not a doer. I would still be wondering what could have been and not looking forward to applying to medical school next year. I would still not be able to read. I would not be... a lot of good things.
This week was already one of thinking as I received an email from my dad that a man that had meant a lot to me growing up had died. Sonny was the husband of my youth minister, Mary Jayne, when I was in high school. I was extremely active in my church and spent a lot of time with them at various things and have great memories of times at their lake house where they eventually moved. Later, in my early 20s, I converted out of the Catholic church and married a Methodist minister. My parents had already made it clear to me that they were not happy about my conversion. Sonny had returned to seminary and became a deacon in the Catholic church, the highest position allowed to a married man. Unfortunately, our last encounter was not a good one. I was in Mary Jayne's office in my late 20s and Sonny walked down the hall. He saw me and walked right by. All he had to say (not even to me, but about me) was "Don't get near her, she will convert you." I laughed it off and tried to hug him, but he practically ran from me. It hurt. One of these days I will write about the hatefulness of those within the church and the pain of being a pastor's wife. But, for now, the world lost a great guy. Despite the way he treated me that day. Sonny died on June 8. While driving, he pulled over to the side of the road and had a heart attack. Sonny's picture (obviously in deacon robes) is the picture at the top of this post.
Whatever the underlying situation with my mentor, I pray that she is not lost. Call me selfish. Perhaps that is why math is the last thing on my mind.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Returned from Chicago and the OPM conference last night. It wasn't very good this year, consequently I didn't attend very many of the sessions. But, got some shopping done and got to spend a bunch of time with some friends from SDN.
It looks like I am going to have to drop my Chem lab. I was summoned to jury duty for the MONTH of JULY. You read that correctly - MONTH. As they direct, I submitted a request to be excused based upon my class schedule during that time and they have yet to respond. The only people that can grant the excuse are the judges and the summons specifically says not to call for that because it won't be done. So...the deadline to get the request in is June 15 which means they probably won't even look at it until the 15th. Unfortunately, the deadline to drop the lab (which meets 6x/week = 3 days/2x day) is TODAY. So, unless I get something in the mail today, I am going to have to drop. It isn't such a bad thing. I will add it to the Fall (hopefully) and just be slammed with labs. I can use the extra time to work on my math. I got an email from my distance learning prof this morning asking what was going on since I haven't submitted any work thus far. I am sending an exam out today, I just haven't yet. I am behind, but not out of my mind behind. Now, it will be the only thing I have to do for the summer so everything will be fine. I hope.
Lots of things to do today.
1. Buy a gift for a friend who just had a baby
2. Pick up my best friend's birthday gift
3. Sign the release so the body shop can get started on my Xterra from the accident last week
4. Mail exam to prof
5. Pick up package at the post office that hubby has been waiting for
6. Drop class
7. Study....thankfully I got quite a bit done this morning
8. Grocery store
That's all off the top of my head. I am sure there is more, but that's what immediately comes to mind.
If I expect to get it all done, I had better get a move on.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
**Unfortunately, there was some bad news last night. A transplant crew from the University of Michigan crashed into Lake Michigan and there are no known survivors. Very, very sad.__________
Based upon the specialties of the docs, it is apparent that the recipient was to be a child. Read more here. **
Based upon the specialties of the docs, it is apparent that the recipient was to be a child. Read more here. **
One more day until I leave for OPM! Tomorrow night will be spent on a train to the Midwest since I am not a flier (at least right now) and Thursday night it is sushi in Chi-town with 3 fellow SDNers. I have been looking forward to this weekend since the last one - last June. I have not been studying as much as I should be... I am hoping to make up some time on the train.
I am still a bit sick. Ugh. I used never to get sick. What the heck? It seems like I am always coming down with something now. Anyway, I have lost a couple of pounds of muscle in the last week or so. Food hasn't been very appealing either...so I am hoping that perhaps I lost at least an OUNCE of fat. But, I am not optimistic. Today's agenda includes a mani, pedi, eyebrow wax, laundry, packing and few other errands. I also will be making dinner. This is somewhat unusual so I include it. Between hubby's schedule at the hospital and mine, dinner at home is not a frequent occurrence. I suppose that is good, seeing as though my cooking is pretty bad. The house is a complete wreck and I feel awful about leaving it like this while I am away because I know he will clean. But, the last thing I want to do is get all those dust bunnies and chemical molecules into my lungs. I am trying to get things out of there right now...not add more.
After reviewing a bunch of profiles on mdapps, I have decided to apply next cycle as originally planned instead of just making it "my first go-round" with plans for failure. I am pretty sold on DO. I would not turn down an allopathic spot, but I really believe in osteopathy and I believe that is where I should be. The unfortunate part of that is that the school 3 miles from me is MD. The closest allopathic is like 3 -5 hours away. That wouldn't be such a big deal, but I am married. We have discussed this a million times. We will make it through, I am not concerned about that. I just don't want to give him the idea that I am choosing school over him. That couldn't be further from the truth. He will be going into a position in the church in which he will need me by his side. I mean, not necessarily NEED, but it will look better for him as a pastor.
Ok, it is off to mani/pedi for me! Adios.