Saturday, March 31, 2007

92%. That was my final grade on my last Chemistry exam and I am stoked! I did not study one iota today for ANY subject. Including the Anatomy lecture exam that I have this week, yet somehow I don't feel guilty. Tomorrow, I won't have the luxury of taking a nap. Tomorrow is do or die. I understand this. Perhaps I will go to the library. I have a home office, but I also have a bedroom just down the hall. Somehow, it doesn't work out very well. I am not crazy about libraries either. I prefer a table in a slightly noisy area of the campus...maybe the commons or the food court. I am not sure how that preference evolved, but it is. Hubby is working tomorrow so I won't feel guilty about not being with him during one of those rare weekends when he has off. There will come a time when he must grapple with the guilt of not spending time with me on a rare free day.

I am optimistic today. The rollercoaster of emotion is sickening.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Go away sun...bring in the clouds

Spring Fever is a killer. I am trying to write a paper on Ethics in Biomedical Research and I can't keep my head in the game. Terrible, absolutely terrible. Perhaps it has something to do with the gorgeous day that I am missing? I am stressed about my Anatomy practical this week. Geez! I have an exam in CPR tomorrow that I can't imagine could be very difficult, but who knows - it will be our first one in there. I haven't paid much attention to that class with the exception of 3 papers, and with the recent changes to the ARC's CPR protocol, I am a little lost. It's pretty far from rocket science, but if I don't know it by tomorrow night I am in trouble. So, I guess I should actually crack the book. This weekend has gone by WAY too fast and I am not ready to go back to class. I am SO over school, but somehow I can't bring myself to leave. Hummmm. Interesting and disturbing at the same time. I wish it would just get cold and dreary for another 6 weeks until the semester is over. This nice weather is going to be the death of me. Hubby went for a walk in the park this afternoon and has been watching basketball upstairs since we returned from church. He is in a Masters program. C'mon Dr. Underdog! There are other things that are much easier than this! I have one paper after this one left in my Biomedical Research class. Usually, I don't mind papers, but I feel like a total moron in that class. I have an A, but none the less I feel like a complete imbecile.

The Chem exam that I got an 85 on will soon be changed to a 92 due to some extra credit on Wednesday. I can't wait.

Ok, I gotta get outta here.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Not going back

Today was a rarity. Since I dropped my PreCalc class, I am finished at 11 am on Wednesdays. I came home, watched TV and took a nap! It was great. The guilt of not studying was killing me but somehow I ignored it until I become unconscious. Today was a wonderful day. We had a Chem know the one that was supposed to be a quiz??? Yesterday, I was COMPLETELY and TOTALLY lost on the material. But, after studying with a fellow non-trad (Engineering) I was ready and pulled an 85!! Woo hoo! The class average was 63 so I am quite pleased.

This whole prep process can be extremely roller-coateresqe. This morning, I was convinced that I was going to need to find another career path. This afternoon, I am a bit more optimistic. Not that an 85 is going to get me into med school, but it is not a C either. The fact of the matter is that I have been out of my former career long enough that I can't go back and, as my husband points out, I really don't want to. True. Very true. So, whether every med school (allo and osteo) in the country turns me down or not, I am not returning to my previous life. Which, in itself is amazingly relieving. Weird. I never have really considered it like that before.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Long road, short attention span.

I did not study all week during Spring Break like I told myself I would. I was busy and sick for the first 3 days and then I finally (slowly) got to it. But, WHOA! I can't keep my mind on it. Today, I started early...well, relatively was still the morning and have been working ever since. The thing is that I have had to bribe myself with short breaks every 20 minutes or so to keep going. AGGH! I got a substantial amount of work done today, but frustrating. I guess tomorrow will be more of the same.

I am really not looking forward to returning to classes on Monday. I do not understand what is going on in Chem and my prof has completely lost her cool with the class. Granted, the class is horrible. This is the worst group of students that I have ever been with. Really, it is bad. But, I feel like asking a question that she feels that I should understand may just get my head bitten off. Yikes. I am trying to find a private tutor. My univ has free tutoring, but I want someone who can follow along with me as I go through the class(es) rather than going into random people and them asking "So, what don't you understand?" I have always thought that was the worst question someone could ask. If I understood enough to tell you that I don't understand it, then I wouldn't NOT understand it!! Seriously, I know that sounds stupid, but if I can go in and tell you that I am lost at concept 6, that means that somewhere along the way I fell off the wagon in concepts 1-5. I don't know where, I don't know why. You can explain that to accomplish concept 6, I must do X, Y, and Z, but if I don't understand where you are getting X,Y, and Z how to identify that I need to apply concepts 1-5, isn't that a problem that simply brings us back to the beginning? So, that is my reason for looking for a tutor rather than using univ services. I am all about going to free supplemental instruction sessions for Anatomy and is very helpful, but I need more in Chem. It doesn't come doesn't even come artificially. I am hurting here!

The NCAA tournament has kept hubby entertained this weekend and in my effort to be with him this evening, I have contorted myself into extremely unnatural positions in a recliner with my 500 pound Anatomy book...I am sure that I will be paying for that in the morning.

I keep trying to think of something that would satisfy me as much as medicine. This is, being a physician. I can't. I actually wish that I could, I would love a shorter road. But, I guess the alternative isn't meant to be and hopefully that means that I am on the right right road. It sure feels like it. WEEEEEEEEEEIRRRRRD!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Since I am doing such a darn good job putting off returning to the anatomy lab, I thought I would make my presence known here. I am on Spring Break. This has easily been the most boring Spring Break ever as it was simply filledwith things that had to get done. I have 3 huge exams when I go back to classes and I am not ready for them...hence the whole anatomy lab thing. I was there earlier and need to spend some more time staring at bones. Gee, fun. I have been sick most of the week which has been a downer, but not the end of the world. Unfortunately, I felt so bad that I was unable to study (or do anything for that matter) I am trying to catch up. My parents came last week... um, well...I'll talk about that another time.

I suddenly have the urge to go do dishes and rush off to the lab. LOL

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Not a good day to be this student.

Today has not been a good day in the academic life of this post-bacc student. I had a Chem quiz this morning at 8 which was actually quite a bit easier than I anticipated. I spent somewhere in the vicinity of 7 hours studying yesterday for my PreCalc (yes, wussyPRECalc) exam. I knew I had to do well since I bombed the first one. I thought I was at least decently prepared. Is studied until nothing else was going in. Beyond that point, work is fruitless. Unfortunately, I got in the today and forgot everything I knew. I don't know if my test anxiety has returned or what, but this is the second time that it has happened in this class. the REALLY unfortunately part about it is that we have only had 2 exams. So, I had to do what I swore I never would...I dropped it. I am so angry. A friend of mine was doing the whole "Have you talked to your prof?" thing. About what??? If I ace the remaining tests, I still only have a shot at a high C, low B...and the chances of my acing ANYTHING in that class seem to be pretty slim (judging from the brilliance I have exhibited so far.) The class is dropped. I am extremely disappointed in myself. Now, I am concerned that checks for the pre/co reqs for Chem haven't been done and I will be booted out of there. I actually still have a more than decent chance in there!! Additionally, a bunch of trivial things have happened that just didn't make the day any better.

This is a lot of work and I am so disappointed in myself. :(

Actually, this is not as much of an "edit" as it is an addendum. Hubby and I went grocery shopping and I came into my office to putz around a bit before jumping into Anatomy. I checked Blackboard for any updates on my grades. Um...yeah...the day just got significantly better!

I turned in a major paper in Biomedical Research (which sounds more impressive than it really is) and the grades were finally posted...the class average was 83.71. I got a 95!! Couple that with the 98 I got on my major paper in First Aid/CPR (my fluff classes are so much work!) and I am a happy camper.

As I mentioned above,we took a Chem quiz this morning. The average was a 10.42/20. Ugh. I got a 14. While it is not great, I am thrilled that I scored so much higher than the average...especially since I spent all of my time studying for that stupid PreCalc exam that defeated me today. Don't misunderstand me, I am not gauging accomplishment based upon my classmates, but it is a good benchmark by which to judge the "difficulty" of the material and how well I am understanding it. When you have 200 other people that have listened to the same lectures taking the same quiz, their score are not inconsequential.

Either way, today just got better! Whew!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Not complaining..

Today was fine. Humanities Chem class and then Anatomy. Nothing to write home about. We were offered extra credit in anatomy that, of course, I will be taking advantage of. I had a massage after classes were over for the day and I have been sitting at my desk studying since then. I have a uber-important exam tomorrow in PreCalc. I hate to say that it is uber important because all that does is freak me out, but really, it is. I need to at least get a B on it, but my confidence is severely lacking. I always end up flipping my pencil around like I know what I am doing (because somehow I think if I am writing, I must know what is going on - LOL) but always end up getting it back to reveal that I was sadly mistaken. I really don't want that to happen tomorrow. I also need to study for a chemistry quiz that I have at 8am and at some point find time to send out a mass email to the organization that I lead. But, for now, I need ot go pick up hubby at the hospital.


Saturday, March 03, 2007

Short Post (can you blame me?

It is an absolutely gorgeous day here. I put aside studying for the day (I know, I know), dropped the top on the convertible and BAM! instant vacation. So what that we were catching up on trips to Lowe's and the grocery store. Does it matter that the highlight of the day shopping day was buying apples on sale for $0.98/lb? Not to me. I am so grateful to have today with my hubby, without a week from hell ahead of me. This week is rather slow. I have a PreCalc Exam on Wednesday (which is the big thing for the week), a quiz in Chem, a quiz in HUMS Chem, topped off by a quiz in Anatomy Lab on Thursday night.

Why am I wasting my time posting on here? See ya!