I have a reading problem??

Ok, the most eye-opening thing happened to me on Friday. I was with my doc..who has taken on the role of mentor-extraordinaire and we were discussing my GPA (oh gosh, I nearly puked!) and my constant complaints about my inability to concentrate. She did not believe that I had ADD, nor did I. However, I have been asking her what I can take/do to improve my focus. She is a target shooter and I thought perhaps that that would be something that would "force" me to focus. The only things that I have ever shot in my life have been clay discs and the little digital flying dudes in "Duck Hunt." Anyway, I haven't tried target shooting yet. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. She wasn't convinced it would help.

Throughout my life, as I have read books, etc. the words have spread, shaken and essentially danced all over the page. After glasses didn't help, I just figured that everyone had this and I needed to learn how to deal. I mean, at some point you just have to stop whining about it. So, I quit wearing glasses and just deal with it. But, it has gotten worse. I WILL NOT read aloud and I have begun to comprehend very little of what I read. It is exhausting. I have to wrangle the words to a halt and try to grab a meaning from them before I move on to the next group. Ugh.

So... I decided one more time to try to get someone to understand what I experience and hoped she wouldn't think I was crazy. Unfortunately, she handed me a paragraph to read aloud. I didn't tell her that I didn't like reading aloud..nor that it sounded something like words being shot out of a popcorn maker. Summoning all of my concentration, I began to read. Three words in I wanted to run screaming from the room. By the time I completed the first sentence, I had had enough...I stopped. I handed her the text and admitted "I know that wasn't read well at all and I didn't comprehend a word I read." She looked at me with convinced amazement. I was embarrassed. It was awful. This person who knows what my IQ is, knows what I am capable of and has told me repeatedly how intelligent she believes I am just witnessed the most appalling act of what I perceived at that moment to be ignorance. I closed my eyes momentarily and prayed for the best. She gently took the box on which the paragraph was written and leaned forward. "Ok, now I am going to read it to you." She read it smoothly. Ahh. I would love to be able to do that again. I think I could at one time. Then looked at me and asked: "What did I just read?"

"It's just software information" I said.

"(Dr. Underdog), you don't have a concentration problem, you have a reading problem!" She was shocked and amazed at the same time. I illustrated how the words move and she watched enthusiastically. "Frankly, I am impressed that you achieved a [edit: GPA removed - time's up!]! I have never heard of anything like you are describing." It wasn't said with mockery or anything that hinted at negativity, but with sheer admiration. Wow.

So, now she is trying to locate a neuro-ophthalmologist for me to see. "I don't want you seeing a (bad) one... I think I want you to go to Hopkins." The one question I had: can we get this done by the time I begin the fall semester? Yes. (Yeah!)

Thank God for great people who listen who become great physicians that listen.

I hope to become one of them.