Ms. P

I didn't recount my volunteer day on Thursday, so I thought I would before I returned for what promises to be a full day tomorrow.

On Thursday, I was planning to stay only until noon...b/c there was a ton or work to be done at home before the party on Saturday. We began the day with a call re: a pt who was losing her hair and wanted to talk to someone form the wig salon. Donna and I went up there and met a wonderful woman in Stage 4 with the sweetest demeanor and wonderful attitude. It was hard to believe that she had been through all that we knew that she had. But, this was her second time with cancer and she knew what to expect. We talked for a while and she decided to have the remainder of her hair shaved off to put a halt to the shedding. We talked to her in depth about what she was looking for in a wig and then went back downstairs. After spending an hour or so talking to these people, you have some idea about their personality. We chose 4 wigs, packed the clippers and other necessary items and headed back up to her room on the 6th floor. Ms. P was waiting for us. Not holding a cosmetology license (and having no desire to secure one) I am not allowed to cut hair nor wigs and that includes shaving. So, Donna takes care of all of that. Ms. P and I were talking while Donna was shaving and it was obvious that she was becoming emotional...as was I. I, thankfully, did not allow my emotions to show through, but sat down in the chair next her. Never having gone through it myself, I don't know how I would react to having my hair removed for such a reason. Truth be told, it startled me a bit. I am frankly surprised at how significant our hair is to our identity. This beautiful woman seemed to lose a bit of her gender identity as her hair fell to the floor. That was shocking to me. I have heard how cadavers are sometimes difficult to identify as a man or woman because of their lack of hair, but this being my initial experience with a situation such as this one, I was nonetheless surprised.

After the last of her hair had tumbled to the floor, we began pulling out wigs for her to try. She ended up choosing an adorable one that really looked quite nice on her. We laughed heartily as she told us the story of her last wig (from her first experience with cancer 12 years ago). Apparently, she had used regular hairspray on it (not designed for synthetic hair) and taken a curling iron to the wig as well. To say the least, it was in horrible condition afterward. I cracked a joke by using my "serious" voice and saying "On behalf of your new wig, I beseech you to..."and continued to list things not to do...especially things that she had already done. She was roaring. I was thrilled. She reached her hands out to us as we left and Donna and I each took one. It was a moment. We had spoken of God and her church and the people and activities she was looking forward to getting back to. Donna and I, both God fearing women, said we would be praying for her. She was appreciative. I had wanted to go back and visit before she left, but that was my last day before Monday's return and she is leaving today. I was sorry that this weekend was to be so busy and hope that she will call downstairs to the salon if she returns for treatment. (She lives in another state.) She was not certain of her diagnosis...either Non-Hodgkins or Hodgkins, either way it is a Lymphoma in stage 4. I do hope that she continues to have the attitude and spiritual life that she has enjoyed. She and her diagnosis do not match, but I guess I will be reminded of that a lot.

After leaving the room, while we were in the stairwell, Donna and I discussed how she seemed to become more emotional at times. Donna said that she could identify those times by the way her scalp tensed up and then I would sit down beside Ms. P...and it loosened again. I felt like a had made a difference and that was a wonderful feeling.