We'll see...

I am thrilled that it is Thursday. I don't have classes on Friday, so the end of the week is here! This week has been a bit more trying than I expected. I had my Math exam on Tuesday and I don't know that I did as poorly as I had expected. I hesitate typing that because it never brings anything good and we have yet to have the exams returned. So, for now, I will just have to be cautiously optimistic. No one get your hopes up...it's not like I aced it or even got a B. I was expecting to fail. Anything above that is better. I got a few grades back that weren't what I should be getting - far from it. This threw me into a tailspin of anxiety and hopelessness. On Tuesday, I walked into my Human Bio class only to find out that the homework that I done (which was going to be used for the quiz) was completely wrong. I was already in a delicate frame of mind...just coming from the Math Lab where I ended up feeling dumber than usual. When the whole homework thing happened...I left. I couldn't do it. I grabbed my bag and ran out of the room. I spent the next 15 minutes sobbing. Knowing that missing a lecture wasn't going to help my efforts, I walked back in and sat in the back on the floor of the teaching theater. I had a 0/10 on the quiz and that was done. At least I was back in the classroom. While I was outside, I realized how important this whole thing is to me. I have honestly never come face to face with myself that way before. It frightened me. I am sure that encounter with my inner Dr. Underdog didn't help my stress/anxiety level the rest of the week. I had my Chem quiz yesterday and we'll have to see how that turns out. The quizzes are much more difficult than the exams...just as she promised. But, I was trying to get some extra review in and ignored my hunger a little too long. I got to the dining hall and sat down with my food and a huge hypoglycemic episode engulfed me. Not good. It was the second worst one that I have ever had and I was alone. I managed to get it under control with a sugar packet, OJ and Dr. Pepper and, despite my lack of appetite at that point, I munched on a sugar cookie on the way to my next class....which was my Chem exam. Timing is so off! Ugh. This morning, I felt awful again and made it to my class (though 30-45 mins late). Anyway, I am off to Human Bio and will grab something to munch on on the way since I am now petrified.

I am really looking forward to the weekend to clear my head and discuss some feelings with my inner Dr. Underdog who appears to be even more determined to do this than I am.

Over and out.

UPDATE: Somehow....BY THE GRACE OF GOD...I got a 92 on my Math exam. WOO HOO. Seriously, it was God... the class average was 77.