Counting the days...

We completed our >1000 mile week (approx) last night. Exhausting. I am really worried about hubby. We drove back Saturday night, he left early for services on Sunday morning, then met with a family about a funeral (I had already returned home from church for a nap), then we got the bulletin done for the funeral so he would not have to worry about it being done correctly without him in the office...then we watched Grey's Anatomy (ahh!) and got to bed about midnight. Monday morning, we were up at 5am and on the road to the new house at 5:30. We had people everywhere...fence guys, plumbers, electrician, flooring...we retreated to the attic (obviously, it is a finished attic) for some rest. I was so exhausted that I slept through them sanding the floors below me! Hubby laughed. He was shocked that I could actually do that. Anyway, he didn't get any sleep. Poor thing. He has been burning the candle at both ends. I have at least been able to sneak a nap here and there. Today, he had to be up to do the funeral and a graveside service....then stay late to teach a class that he rescheduled from last evening. I will go in to have dinner with him later. Hopefully, he will lock his door and grab a nap between the funeral and dinner.

I had planned on driving both ways yesterday, but had a really bad dizzy spell about halfway there when we stopped to pick up breakfast. I felt bad that he had to drive knowing that he has gotten ZERO "good" sleep in the recent past. (That was redundant, eh?) I think it was because I drank some iced tea the evening before and I have had my problems with caffeine. I am obsessed with thinking it is something wrong with my heart, but I am wasting my life obsessing about that. Sometimes I can't tell if these fuzzy aches in my chest and back are actually muscular (the fibromyalgia acting up - which is totally logical with the nuttiness going on) or something I should REALLY be paying attention to. The fibro often has some of the same characteristics as cardiac issues...dizziness, chest pain, nausea, etc... but, I have also learned that my body is so quirky that I can't really follow "normal" protocol.

I hate the fact that my wonderful husband must deal with the crap that I deal with...through me.

This weekend was very difficult for him. Mother's Day was the 1st anniversary of his mom's death. We were moving at that time too. He had to make the decision to remove her from life support...she died shortly thereafter. He had graduated from seminary that same week and closed on the sale of her house the day before (until shortly before her death, she was going to move with us to Texas because living in her home was no longer an option...it had become too dangerous.) It was the house he had grown up in. The only home he had known until we got married. Even a year after we got married, it became his (our) home again when we moved in to take care of her. She had become chronically and later terminally ill. Those were a rough 3 years. We moved last year at this time as well. Now, we are setting down roots...we bought a house out of this area and plan to raise a family there...a small family...but a family.

To those of you who read my blog regularly, please forgive my constant whining. I feel like that is all I do. I am working on getting better. There is so much more in life to be grateful for that to complain about...I need to take advantage of those opportunities more.

Have a fantastic day!