First Meeting...and other junk.

Today was the first meeting of our new organization, (XXX Univ) Students for Organ Donation. We had a small turn out, but I will take those few with their enthusiasm over a mob of "whatevers" any day. I am encouraged and excited by what we can accomplish with this group. We already have a work day scheduled...NEXT WEEK!

I got my grade from my Anatomy practical... an 80. I guess that isn't horrible considering I completely forgot about the ... the... see, I can't even remember it now!! Ugh. It is on the fourth ventricle...somewhere...and responsible for the production of CSF. Aggh! Why can't I remember it? Some sort of plexus....YES! THE CHOROID PLEXUS. Geez, that was painful. Anyhow, I wrote that it was the central aqueduct. I know, I know brilliant, but hey, it was a guess.

I am really fatigued this afternoon. Not sleepy, just fatigued. The weather is gorgeous, but I always have a bit of a time adjusting to the warmer temps.

A friend of mine, a pre-nursing student, had a major breakdown this morning. I am not convinced that she was not considering suicide, but seems to be doing much better now. It was really horrible. When I finally found out where she was, I practically busted down her door to find her crying in the kitchen. She cried for hours after that. There was so little I could do. She was upset about her grades and it never helps when I get a higher grade than she does on an Anatomy exam. Thankfully, on this exam, I didn't indicate how I thought I had done (frankly, because I didn't know) but she always gets upset when I say that I think I bombed it (which I legitimately think I have) and then end up with a higher grade than she does. She is convinced that it is some horrible thing I am doing to her. I am not trying to. I am answering a question. I scored 20 points higher than her on the lecture exam and 10 points higher on the practical. The sad part is that I think in many cases she is much more prepared for the test than am I. She really shouldn't be getting the grades she is..if you took into account the hours of prep she does. Either way, she had a major breakdown which was topped off by her finding out that she scored a 70. Thankfully (so sad that THIS is the good part) a friend of ours REALLY bombed it so she could concentrate on how much worse it could have been. Somehow, I got her to go to class and the meeting which, sadly, she managed to cry through intermittently. Those days are really rough. I hope she can soon begin to see the brightness ahead. Heck, we only have a month left!

Long road, short attention span.

I did not study all week during Spring Break like I told myself I would. I was busy and sick for the first 3 days and then I finally (slowly) got to it. But, WHOA! I can't keep my mind on it. Today, I started early...well, relatively early..it was still the morning and have been working ever since. The thing is that I have had to bribe myself with short breaks every 20 minutes or so to keep going. AGGH! I got a substantial amount of work done today, but geez...how frustrating. I guess tomorrow will be more of the same.

I am really not looking forward to returning to classes on Monday. I do not understand what is going on in Chem and my prof has completely lost her cool with the class. Granted, the class is horrible. This is the worst group of students that I have ever been with. Really, it is bad. But, I feel like asking a question that she feels that I should understand may just get my head bitten off. Yikes. I am trying to find a private tutor. My univ has free tutoring, but I want someone who can follow along with me as I go through the class(es) rather than going into random people and them asking "So, what don't you understand?" I have always thought that was the worst question someone could ask. If I understood enough to tell you that I don't understand it, then I wouldn't NOT understand it!! Seriously, I know that sounds stupid, but if I can go in and tell you that I am lost at concept 6, that means that somewhere along the way I fell off the wagon in concepts 1-5. I don't know where, I don't know why. You can explain that to accomplish concept 6, I must do X, Y, and Z, but if I don't understand where you are getting X,Y, and Z how to identify that I need to apply concepts 1-5, isn't that a problem that simply brings us back to the beginning? So, that is my reason for looking for a tutor rather than using univ services. I am all about going to free supplemental instruction sessions for Anatomy and such...it is very helpful, but I need more in Chem. It doesn't come naturally...it doesn't even come artificially. I am hurting here!

The NCAA tournament has kept hubby entertained this weekend and in my effort to be with him this evening, I have contorted myself into extremely unnatural positions in a recliner with my 500 pound Anatomy book...I am sure that I will be paying for that in the morning.

I keep trying to think of something that would satisfy me as much as medicine. This is, being a physician. I can't. I actually wish that I could, I would love a shorter road. But, I guess the alternative isn't meant to be and hopefully that means that I am on the right right road. It sure feels like it. WEEEEEEEEEEIRRRRRD!

Cadavers ROCK!

I was nervous going into the week as you might have gathered from the previous post. I actually said that if I didn't make it through the cadavers that I was going to leave school. After all, I have enough uphill battles to win along this journey. But, the cadavers were awesome! The second day, I didn't sit in the back because of fear, but because I could actually see more than those people in the front row due to the upward slope of the room. LOTS and LOTS of people left the class. I loved it. It was calming. I know that sounds amazingly odd. But, it really was. I was comfortable. I will likely never eat meat again, but I was so comfortable. I explored, I played, I took advantage of the opportunity. It was fantastic.

Thanks for the supportive comments y'all. I really appreciate them. I am so grateful for this week.

Techno Train..wait for me!

I should be studying Anatomy right now. I only ended up having about 30 mins of class today. Tuesdays are my light days anyway. Couple that with the fact that one of my lectures was cancelled and we had a quiz and leave session in my other class...it makes for a pretty easy day. I came home today to have lunch (something I normally don't do) and need to be back on campus for a meeting about the new chapter of Students for Organ Donation that I am heading up. I am sitting here with my Netter's cards in front of me. I can't almost hear them calling "Study the muscles of the lower limbs." But I ignore well. I am strong that way. LOL. I need to read another chapter tonight and prep for a quiz in PreCalc tomorrow. It is funny, I think that the hardest part about returning to school is the technology and how it is integrated into the instruction. I like to think that I am technologically savvy, but sometimes I fall flat on my face. My math class is less about math and more about how to find the answer on the TI-8o something. Don't misunderstand me, we used graphing calcs my first time around. It is just that the emphasis was placed on US doing the work and the calculator just being a sort of illustrative tool. This time, if you don't use the resources available, you will be hard pressed to complete the assignment/exam in a timely manner.

Ok, gotta jet, Netter is getting a little too deafening.

TTFN.

Second week.

I must say that I am rather pleased with how things are going in Anatomy so far. I feel really bad for a friend of mine who is completely lost. I am trying to help as much as I can...as I type this, I have labels written all over my body from an evening of studying. I think more people are in the boat with her than are in the one with me...which is sad. Thankfully, the chapter on Embryology is not being taken seriously by my prof. She told us to read it if we needed help getting to sleep. HA! I had already trudged through it so the pain was fully experienced, but it was nice to know that I was not going to be held super accountable for the boredom I had endured and likely not retained. :)

It is cold here. Thankfully, during the day it hasn't been all that bad...perhaps in the 40s, but at night ---- BRRRRR! Hubby and I have been trying to eat better. I lost 6 pounds this week!!! Of course, I know that won't happen from here on out, but it was a nice jump start. Unfortunately (sort of) my birthday is Saturday and there is some sort of surprised planned...all I know is that I am to be ready to be taken (or picked up or teleported or something) somewhere by noon. We will wait and find out. Everyone knows I LOVE cake. I mean, it is wrong to love cake as much as I do, so undoubtedly there will be cake. And...I will partake of the cake! YUM! I wish I could say "You only turn 32 once" like it was some sort of legitimate milestone worthy of breaking a diet, but it is not. Yet, I will eat cake anyway.

I bought my lab coat for Anatomy yesterday. The arms are so long! Aggh! If it were a "real" white coat...you know the kind that I will be wearing sometime in the future, I would care. But, this is just not to get cadaver juice on me.

As far as my other classes...
First Aid/CPR is fine...it will be an A. More work than I wanted, but really the hardest part about the class is the long hike I have 10 minutes to make in order to get there on time.
Biomedical Research is confusing as heck, but it will be a difficult class to get less than an A in for anyone (straight from the prof's mouth). All we have to do is show up and write a few papers on some sort of derivation of one of the speakers' lectures.
Gen Chem is wonderful so far. I love my prof. I knew I would and I am thrilled that I made the decision to suck it up and take it even with the horrible scheduling.
PreCalc - What can I say? Math is not my thing. I just want to get through with at least a B.
HUMS Chem - A. Done. Nothing to say. Show up, do the work...don't tick anyone off.

Dang! I am taking something else but can't remember what it is!!! How terrible is that? Frankly, I am just to zoned to figure it out right now. LOL.

Well, I guess I should try to wash all of this marker off of me and read a bit of Anatomy before bed. Gee, nothing better. Seriously, I love that class.

Ok, outta here! Have a good one!

First Day Back

Classes resumed today. I am in for quite a semester. This will be the semester that determines whether or not I can actually do it. Anatomy alone....WHOA. Not to mention, the professor couldn't be less "entertaining"...a very nice lady, very grandmotherly...with a great love for the word "People."

"I tell you something people..."
"You know people...."
"People, you have to..."

I think I am going to enjoy it though. We will have 2 cadavers in lecture this semester instead of moving one from lab to lab. That will be interesting. Now, how many "people" are going to puke and how many are going to faint? I hope and pray that I am not one of those.

Unfortunately, Blackboard is not functioning correctly for me and I am unable to access the class notes and notices. This is not good. Apparently, I am one of the only ones. I emailed her to see what the heck is going on.

I need to go buy colored pencils (reminds me of 4th grade Social Studies) and a one subject notebook for one of my Chem classes. They are very picky about that. It must be a one subject dedicated notebook. Um...ok. Thankfully, I have already determined what we are having for dinner and it won't take very long to make. I did not sleep well at all last night and would like to take a nap. The thought of taking a nap makes me feel guilty and that is why I have spent the last hour avoiding it. But, I don't think I am going to quit feeling this way nor quit thinking about it until I snooze. So, off to crash I go.

Night for now PEOPLE! ;)

-Dr. Underdog

Christmas

Ten days into the break between semesters. Ahh. Next semester scares me for a variety of reasons. I need to do well. I need to do better than I did this semester, but with less time and more classes. Yikes. Anyway, I am trying to put the stress out of my mind for another 3 weeks. I need to hit the Chem and Anatomy books before returning to maximize my chances of not falling behind.

This has been an emotional holiday season. This was the first year that my husband and I actually "celebrated" to any extent. Three years of taking care of his chronically, then terminally ill mother followed by one year of not caring about anything (I wanted to, but it was impossible) puts one in a confusing position. But this was the year that we were going to get into the groove. Start our own traditions (perhaps a combinations of each other's from years passed) and begin again. So, we began with the tree. We bought a real Christmas tree since both of us grew up with artificial ones. It is a gorgeous 9.5 footer that our dogs love to sit at the foot of for hours on end. We stuffed stockings and gave gifts. We went to church (ok, so that part never died) on Christmas Eve. Growing up in Texas, my family always had the tradition of eating tamales and chili on Christmas Eve after church. So, I found this place in town that sells tamales, bought some and made veggie chili. It was good. Unfortunately, the tamales were Peruvian style and not Mexican so there were big hunks of meat in the center instead of the shreds that I prefer. But, that was ok...my favorite part is the corn (masa) anyway and that was REALLY good. My husband's family had a tradition of eating oyster stew for breakfast on Christmas morning. The idea just grosses me out, so I should have known that the actual consumption would do worse. I tried. It was completely disgusting. I seriously did not make it through one spoonful. I thought I was going to puke. But, there he was..happy as a clam slurping his oyster stew. Eww. Since it was just the two of us, I made roasted cornish game hens, cranberry relish, rolls (ok, I bought those), green beans, and stuffing. I was pleased with the way everything turned out. My in-laws are both gone, so I can only imagine how difficult the day actually was for my husband. Holidays are always confusing for me. I never know quite what to say to him. I always ask how he is feeling and try to give him the opening to talk if he wants, but he never seems to want to so I let it go. Our mothers have the same birthday. December 26th. So, that is a double doozie for him.

I think I wrote sometime back about how my mom and I are pretty estranged and then how she recently wrote me a letter apologizing for many things. I had said that I would address the letter after finals. So, I did. But, then she called. I ended up telling her what I wanted to on the phone. She didn't interrupt. She didn't disagree. I would REALLY like to think that she has changed. We spoke several times in a few days and I even considered going down there since I don't have to be back in class for another 3 weeks. But, I don't fly. I am very upset about it and REALLY want to get over it but it just isn't happening right now. So, I was going to take the train. Until I recalculated how long it would take. Yikes! I think I that I will invite them to come up here at some point, maybe during Spring Break. But, it just isn't happening in the next 3 weeks.

Well, enough for now.