Study Break

This is a time when I have absolutely no business putzing around on the 'net. I finally finished a project for First Aid that took the entire weekend and I still have 2 Chemistry assignments (due tomorrow) and a paper for Biomedical Research to write (due Tuesday). I am going stir crazy. I can't stand to sit here at my desk anymore and yesterday I spent the time lying in bed working on my laptop. It has been a gorgeous weekend for weather...obviously I didn't get to enjoy it. Oh well...it is my choice. Thankfully, there was curve on the last Anatomy lecture exam and I have a B in the class. I am waiting for the results of the last practical that we took on Thursday night. I felt really good about it until the last 10 rotations or so. I wasn't completely lost on the last 10, it was just that up until that point I hadn't had any trouble. Anyway, I am still waiting for the results. If I can pull something decent on that, I will feel much better going into the final. I am really upset about the way Anatomy has turned out for me this semester. It is the only class that I am not set up to get an A in...but it is the class that I expected to get an A in. Really bothersome. There is no reason that I shouldn't have done better in there. I know the stuff. I know it. I can make excuses all day long, but when it comes right down to it...I don't know that I can pinpoint what it actually was. Perhaps a combination of a few things, some that I had control over, others that I didn't. I will end up with a 3.7 if all goes as expected through finals. I really don't want to think about grades right now. I am getting too worked up over finals.

My desk is an absolute mess. It looks like my mind feels. I have all sorts of stuff on here...including my dinner plate since I ate while working. I know that some people preach that you should always have a clean and clutter-free desk for maximum whatever. Obviously, that is not the philosophy to which I am subscribing right now. In fact, my entire office is just a sinkhole of mess. Maybe I will try to get it cleaned up before I begin studying seriously for finals. I say "maybe" because I have set so many goals like these before and priorities always win in the end. "Clean the desk or do the homework"...which is going to get me into med school? Certainly not cleaning the desk. I am definitely more a Christina (Grey's Anatomy) than a Meredith. At least when it comes to tidiness. I am always hygienic...just not always tidy. Ok, it is more likely to find my house a mess than clean. Sad, but true. Would I like to have a housekeeper? Sure, but this is one of those things that hubby says we can do ourselves and frankly I don't trust anyone anymore.

Anyway, I am gonna post this and try to work on Chem. If I can just get this one assignment done it would be great. I would only accomplish half of the stuff that I needed to this weekend and need to get creative to get the other stuff done...but I will still feel tremendous relief with this one assignment done.

Ok. Ta-Ta For Now.

92%. That was my final grade on my last Chemistry exam and I am stoked! I did not study one iota today for ANY subject. Including the Anatomy lecture exam that I have this week, yet somehow I don't feel guilty. Tomorrow, I won't have the luxury of taking a nap. Tomorrow is do or die. I understand this. Perhaps I will go to the library. I have a home office, but I also have a bedroom just down the hall. Somehow, it doesn't work out very well. I am not crazy about libraries either. I prefer a table in a slightly noisy area of the campus...maybe the commons or the food court. I am not sure how that preference evolved, but it is. Hubby is working tomorrow so I won't feel guilty about not being with him during one of those rare weekends when he has off. There will come a time when he must grapple with the guilt of not spending time with me on a rare free day.

I am optimistic today. The rollercoaster of emotion is sickening.

Go away sun...bring in the clouds

Spring Fever is a killer. I am trying to write a paper on Ethics in Biomedical Research and I can't keep my head in the game. Terrible, absolutely terrible. Perhaps it has something to do with the gorgeous day that I am missing? I am stressed about my Anatomy practical this week. Geez! I have an exam in CPR tomorrow that I can't imagine could be very difficult, but who knows - it will be our first one in there. I haven't paid much attention to that class with the exception of 3 papers, and with the recent changes to the ARC's CPR protocol, I am a little lost. It's pretty far from rocket science, but if I don't know it by tomorrow night I am in trouble. So, I guess I should actually crack the book. This weekend has gone by WAY too fast and I am not ready to go back to class. I am SO over school, but somehow I can't bring myself to leave. Hummmm. Interesting and disturbing at the same time. I wish it would just get cold and dreary for another 6 weeks until the semester is over. This nice weather is going to be the death of me. Hubby went for a walk in the park this afternoon and has been watching basketball upstairs since we returned from church. He is in a Masters program. C'mon Dr. Underdog! There are other things that are much easier than this! I have one paper after this one left in my Biomedical Research class. Usually, I don't mind papers, but I feel like a total moron in that class. I have an A, but none the less I feel like a complete imbecile.

The Chem exam that I got an 85 on will soon be changed to a 92 due to some extra credit on Wednesday. I can't wait.

Ok, I gotta get outta here.

First Day Back

Classes resumed today. I am in for quite a semester. This will be the semester that determines whether or not I can actually do it. Anatomy alone....WHOA. Not to mention, the professor couldn't be less "entertaining"...a very nice lady, very grandmotherly...with a great love for the word "People."

"I tell you something people..."
"You know people...."
"People, you have to..."

I think I am going to enjoy it though. We will have 2 cadavers in lecture this semester instead of moving one from lab to lab. That will be interesting. Now, how many "people" are going to puke and how many are going to faint? I hope and pray that I am not one of those.

Unfortunately, Blackboard is not functioning correctly for me and I am unable to access the class notes and notices. This is not good. Apparently, I am one of the only ones. I emailed her to see what the heck is going on.

I need to go buy colored pencils (reminds me of 4th grade Social Studies) and a one subject notebook for one of my Chem classes. They are very picky about that. It must be a one subject dedicated notebook. Um...ok. Thankfully, I have already determined what we are having for dinner and it won't take very long to make. I did not sleep well at all last night and would like to take a nap. The thought of taking a nap makes me feel guilty and that is why I have spent the last hour avoiding it. But, I don't think I am going to quit feeling this way nor quit thinking about it until I snooze. So, off to crash I go.

Night for now PEOPLE! ;)

-Dr. Underdog

Christmas

Ten days into the break between semesters. Ahh. Next semester scares me for a variety of reasons. I need to do well. I need to do better than I did this semester, but with less time and more classes. Yikes. Anyway, I am trying to put the stress out of my mind for another 3 weeks. I need to hit the Chem and Anatomy books before returning to maximize my chances of not falling behind.

This has been an emotional holiday season. This was the first year that my husband and I actually "celebrated" to any extent. Three years of taking care of his chronically, then terminally ill mother followed by one year of not caring about anything (I wanted to, but it was impossible) puts one in a confusing position. But this was the year that we were going to get into the groove. Start our own traditions (perhaps a combinations of each other's from years passed) and begin again. So, we began with the tree. We bought a real Christmas tree since both of us grew up with artificial ones. It is a gorgeous 9.5 footer that our dogs love to sit at the foot of for hours on end. We stuffed stockings and gave gifts. We went to church (ok, so that part never died) on Christmas Eve. Growing up in Texas, my family always had the tradition of eating tamales and chili on Christmas Eve after church. So, I found this place in town that sells tamales, bought some and made veggie chili. It was good. Unfortunately, the tamales were Peruvian style and not Mexican so there were big hunks of meat in the center instead of the shreds that I prefer. But, that was ok...my favorite part is the corn (masa) anyway and that was REALLY good. My husband's family had a tradition of eating oyster stew for breakfast on Christmas morning. The idea just grosses me out, so I should have known that the actual consumption would do worse. I tried. It was completely disgusting. I seriously did not make it through one spoonful. I thought I was going to puke. But, there he was..happy as a clam slurping his oyster stew. Eww. Since it was just the two of us, I made roasted cornish game hens, cranberry relish, rolls (ok, I bought those), green beans, and stuffing. I was pleased with the way everything turned out. My in-laws are both gone, so I can only imagine how difficult the day actually was for my husband. Holidays are always confusing for me. I never know quite what to say to him. I always ask how he is feeling and try to give him the opening to talk if he wants, but he never seems to want to so I let it go. Our mothers have the same birthday. December 26th. So, that is a double doozie for him.

I think I wrote sometime back about how my mom and I are pretty estranged and then how she recently wrote me a letter apologizing for many things. I had said that I would address the letter after finals. So, I did. But, then she called. I ended up telling her what I wanted to on the phone. She didn't interrupt. She didn't disagree. I would REALLY like to think that she has changed. We spoke several times in a few days and I even considered going down there since I don't have to be back in class for another 3 weeks. But, I don't fly. I am very upset about it and REALLY want to get over it but it just isn't happening right now. So, I was going to take the train. Until I recalculated how long it would take. Yikes! I think I that I will invite them to come up here at some point, maybe during Spring Break. But, it just isn't happening in the next 3 weeks.

Well, enough for now.