I am sitting here doing homework..well, studying for a Physics exam. Is there any difference? I am having a lot of trouble keeping my mind in the game and my eyes fell to my wrist and the yellow bracelet. It got me to thinking about how when Kate and I were talking and she had noticed that it was once again on my wrist, I mentioned how, along with its obvious purpose, it helped to motivate me to workout and keep going when the effort seemed too much. She asked me "How?" I gave some stupid answer because I have been so forward with my feelings lately that I didn't want to overwhelm her. I have been too honest with my feelings. I didn't want to discuss any of this with her. I wanted to help her..not the other way around. So I gave a cheesy-ass short and shallow answer (that really didn't answer the question) that I have since forgotten. What was the real answer? If I had been honest with her at that moment what would I have said?
"Because someday I am going to have a patient who means to someone what you and all those other wonderful people in my life who have fought cancer have meant and mean to me. I want to be in my best shape, both mentally and physically. That person doesn't deserve anything less than my best."
Perhaps my real answer is as cheesy as the substance-less one I spouted... but at least this one was honest. I have lost 4 pounds. I don't care if it is just a momentary hiccup that went my way. Four pounds is 4 pounds and I have worked for it.
Anyway, I had to get that off my chest. Now it is back to Physics.
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