Final Exam (not mine) and the news

I am reading a wonderful book entitled "Final Exam - A Surgeon's Reflections on Mortality" by Pauline Chen. It is a wonderful glimpse into the mind of a physician on dying through stories of her own experience from medical school through practice. I have enjoyed this book immensely, but in the interest of not divulging too much, thus ruining the book for anyone, I will simply say that it is an easy read and one that I HIGHLY recommend. If Dr. Chen keeps a blog, I would love to add it to my regular reads. Does anyone know?

My husband and I are going to the beach for a few days come Sunday and I am really looking forward to spending time with him. While I have had my share of busy days working on that stupid, and thankfully over, pre-calc class, he is the one who has been truly slammed. So, more than anything I am hoping that he finds the vacation to be relaxing and rejuvenating. I have a tendency to be demanding and moody (which manifests itself as anger) and I really don't want that to come out during the time away. I have really been working hard on my anger and feel as though I am doing fairly well. He doesn't deserve what I put him through and I am working hard to change it. Don't get me wrong, I am not violent with him or anything, but being around someone who seems to be angry about everything can be a real drain I am certain.


The news has been a bit upsetting in recent days. Especially the trapped miners in Utah. Why is it that we can perform surgery remotely, but can't manage the technology to mine coal remotely and save lives - short and long term. Since the turn of the twentieth century, there have been 104,621 mining fatalities. That is just a bit less than 1000/year. Yikes! I am certainly not an expert or even one who keeps up with mine disasters, but another thing that infuriates me is the fact that during the current accident in Utah, the owner of the mine has had the audacity to claim that an earthquake was the culprit when all signs and seismologists point to the fact that the readings that he is citing were actually caused by the mine failure itself. I understand that the loss of mining to robots would result in hardships for many families who depend upon the mining profession. But, the fact of the matter is that the owners are in it for profit and aren't going to sink those profits into making working conditions safer. What is the price tag that we place on human life?


I must go. The shower is calling my name and then perhaps a few more pages of Dr. Chen's book.

TTFN,
Dr. Underdog


P.S. I have been asked what "TTFN" stands for..."Ta Ta For Now"...didn't anyone ever watch Winnie the Pooh? ;-) A Tigger phrase.

It is over. RIP you horrible math class.

Thank GOD!

I woke up this morning, grabbed my laptop, and OMG! there it was...my grade. I had been sweating for a B. I was scared out of my mind.My grades were consistent with a B, but in my world you never know what can happen. I thought that final accounted for 25% of my grade. Thankfully, I was wrong.

The day that I went in to take the final, the A/C was broken. On top of that, the small testing center was packed to the max with hot bodies sweating it out. I was one of them. This was not the way I had wanted to take my exam. It was my FINAL! A QUARTER of my grade. I was nervous. I was glad that it was over. I had given it all I had and it was over, but I was still scared. After all, I was certain that I had aced my second campus exam and all I had to show for it was a 78. Ugh.


So, this morning when I looked at Blackboard I began to scream.
Final Exam : 97
Final Grade: A

Add 5 credit hours of an A to my BCPM and my overall...I am one super happy camper!

Test Anxiety...at a really bad time

My final is today. Actually, it is whenever I get in there. I am so nervous that it is already having an affect on what I can recall. I looked over my old tests last night expecting to pick out a bunch of stuff that couldn't remember doing, but the result was quite the opposite. I was extremely comfortable with the material. Then, my husband had to make the stupid...STUPID...mistake of saying "It IS 25% of your grade." I freaked. I didn't sleep well. I don't feel good. I feel like I have had too much caffeine when I have really had none at all. I am trying to decide if I should continue to feed into my nervous frenzy and review the stuff over and over or should I just go take the dumb exam? I have not done any problems in 3 days. The almost seems second nature to me, which a completely strange feeling. But, the more I look at it, the more I realize what I could forget so I look over it again and again. I can't put the test off until tomorrow. This is the last day. In a few hours, this class will be behind me. I feel like going in and taking it now would be irresponsible, but I can't bear to look at it anymore. I am beyond the point where I can judge prudence. Unfortunately, I am also at the point where I somewhat don't care. I am getting a migraine thinking about it so much.

Ok, I don't care. I know what I know. I don't know what I don't know. Just PLEASE GOD let me get a B. How sad. I went from an A to a B. I have this stupid idea in my head that the best I can do is a B in a class that I deem to be "real." Apparently, I was taking 3 "fake" ones last term. Anyway, grades seem to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. My post-bacc GPA is a 3.0 +. Not a 4.0. Ugh.

Ok, enough trying to calm myself down. I am going to take a shower and leave. No make up. No primping. Just throw on some clothes and get this thing over with.

Wish me luck.

Not a good day to be this student.

Today has not been a good day in the academic life of this post-bacc student. I had a Chem quiz this morning at 8 which was actually quite a bit easier than I anticipated. I spent somewhere in the vicinity of 7 hours studying yesterday for my PreCalc (yes, wussyPRECalc) exam. I knew I had to do well since I bombed the first one. I thought I was at least decently prepared. Is studied until nothing else was going in. Beyond that point, work is fruitless. Unfortunately, I got in the today and forgot everything I knew. I don't know if my test anxiety has returned or what, but this is the second time that it has happened in this class. the REALLY unfortunately part about it is that we have only had 2 exams. So, I had to do what I swore I never would...I dropped it. I am so angry. A friend of mine was doing the whole "Have you talked to your prof?" thing. About what??? If I ace the remaining tests, I still only have a shot at a high C, low B...and the chances of my acing ANYTHING in that class seem to be pretty slim (judging from the brilliance I have exhibited so far.) The class is dropped. I am extremely disappointed in myself. Now, I am concerned that checks for the pre/co reqs for Chem haven't been done and I will be booted out of there. I actually still have a more than decent chance in there!! Additionally, a bunch of trivial things have happened that just didn't make the day any better.

This is a lot of work and I am so disappointed in myself. :(


EDIT:
Actually, this is not as much of an "edit" as it is an addendum. Hubby and I went grocery shopping and I came into my office to putz around a bit before jumping into Anatomy. I checked Blackboard for any updates on my grades. Um...yeah...the day just got significantly better!

I turned in a major paper in Biomedical Research (which sounds more impressive than it really is) and the grades were finally posted...the class average was 83.71. I got a 95!! Couple that with the 98 I got on my major paper in First Aid/CPR (my fluff classes are so much work!) and I am a happy camper.

As I mentioned above,we took a Chem quiz this morning. The average was a 10.42/20. Ugh. I got a 14. While it is not great, I am thrilled that I scored so much higher than the average...especially since I spent all of my time studying for that stupid PreCalc exam that defeated me today. Don't misunderstand me, I am not gauging accomplishment based upon my classmates, but it is a good benchmark by which to judge the "difficulty" of the material and how well I am understanding it. When you have 200 other people that have listened to the same lectures taking the same quiz, their score are not inconsequential.

Either way, today just got better! Whew!

Chemistry Final Exam Grade...incoming!

What I hate most about this is not the work. It is the degree to which this matters to me. I met with my Chem prof 2 weeks ago. She is not a woman who is exactly straight in the head, but none the less..I must respect the title. So, I do. I needed an 80 on my final to end up with a B in the course. I just checked my grade. I got a 78. While I don't feel that this is over, I feel completely defeated. I didn't want to have to fight grading errors that she wouldn't address earlier in the semester, but now I have to in order to get the grade that I deserve. I want to roll up into a ball, find a dark corner somewhere and cry until I am out of tears. I know to many this will seem a bit extreme, but I don't feel that it is. A 78 puts me less than one percentage point from a B. Maybe even less than .5% in which case I would hope that she would round up instead of down. Frankly, any professor that awards a 79 when a 79.5 (or 79.1 for that matter) is earned is actually TAKING POINTS AWAY from a student and I don't believe that is fair either. But, in the case of a 79.5 or higher, there should be no question. I really don't want to have to fight this. It won't end up being pretty and I will simply end up making a bad name for myself. But, I can't afford not to fight it.

For now, I am going to go back to my corner and pout.

One more!

I have taken all of my finals...except one. Human Bio --- tomorrow at 1pm. Tonight I have a study group... in about an hour. I have so far, I have accumulated 1 A and 2 Bs for the semester. I am waiting on that 80 on my Chem final to make it 3 Bs. I need an 89 on my Human Bio final to get an A in that class. So, we will have to see. I am cautiously optimistic. I wasn't as worried going into my Chem exam as I am going into my Human Bio exam. I really want that A!! I did pretty poorly on my 2 finals yesterday...a 65.75% in Math and a 72% in Nutrition. But, both were enough for Bs in the class. I was not in line for an A either way, so I am satisfied. Gosh, I am just waiting for the return in Chem. I have been checking Blackboard about every hour (if not more) and I have a friend (also a classmate) on high alert with phone in hand at the first sight of her grade. So, it won't be there long before I know about it!