Oops. Owww!

I am supposed to be in class in 39 mins, but I am not going. I have been having a fibro flare and I was so exhausted yesterday when I took one of our dogs out that I fell hard onto the concrete and hurt every inch of my body. That didn't help the flare either..it just exacerbated it. Luckily, in this class we buy a textbook that has the outline in the back and that is what the prof presents to us in class...word for word. So, while I still feel horribly guilty about skipping class, I don't think it is going to make much of a difference. The mere thought of standing brings me to tears. Thankfully, hubby had taken off from work yesterday to work on some stuff and he was standing right there when I went down. Today guarantees to be a boring day. I am watching daytime television. I would like to go downstairs and get my books and a glass of water, but the thought makes my body hurt. So, it is Regis and Kelly for me right now. At least Regis isn't there...the guy is so annoying. Maybe I will watch an On Demand movie. I began watching Beloved the other day. It was pretty good. Unfortunately, as much as I like Oprah...she really is a horrible racist person. So sad. It doesn't do anyone any good. Don't get me wrong, she is no Al Sharpton but she certainly has quite a bit more influence. Overall, her positive influence is WAY more significant than the negative. Any way...I think I will watch a movie...maybe.

Have a great day.

Fibromyalgia

I have been working very hard to workout at least 5 days/week. Unfortunately, I am having a severe Fibro flare this week and it is knocking me on my a$$. I have to tell you, it is a REALLY bad feeling when the bottoms of your feet hurt to the touch. Not good. That is what Fibromyalgia is. (I am aware that I just ended that sentence with a preposition...so sue me.) If you aren't familiar with FM, check out this segment. I have been really struggling this week to continue my workout schedule. It is nothing big, but I need to keep going. Unfortunately, during times like these, getting out of bed is a huge accomplishment. I usually don't let it ruin me. If I can afford to have the day go to waste...well, then perhaps I will give in. But, I usually feel completely guilty afterward. Either way, typing this is driving me nuts...my hands are hot and swollen. My knuckles are tight. I can't get comfortable. That is probably the thing that makes me the craziest. Good day or bad, I can never get comfortable. There is either too much pressure here or too much pressure there. Really annoying. I try to be super careful when I know I have an exam coming up or something that will require super mind performance and especially when it is timed. I can get so distracted by the discomfort on the best day. I have a high tolerance for pain and am no longer on medication. I am glad of that - most days. I just make quiet accommodations. I don't sit in the middle of a row. I give myself as much moving room as possible. I sit in the front of the class when we are in desks and toward the back on the end of a row when I am in a lecture hall. I am very careful about what I wear to class. Being uncomfortable whether it be my shoes or a belt will ruin my day.

I could go on about this for quite awhile...perhaps convince you to pursue a career in Rheumatology, but my hands are so tight that it is radiating up my arms. I gotta jet. Have a good one!!

TTFN.

Circling the bowl.

I thought that perhaps the depressive episode that I was experiencing had subsided a bit, but apparently I was wrong. Unfortunately, not only am I dealing with that right now, I am having a fibro flare (I have Fibromyalgia) and anxiety (I have Panic/Anxiety Disorder also) is kicking my A$$ as well. I don't know what the worst part is. The depression is really, really rough but the anxiety makes you want to be flying off the same bridge as the depression. I just need to make it through the next 3 weeks and then I can crumble...for a LITTLE bit. I will only have 2 weeks to spare for any nervous breakdown that my body/mind is thinking about having without my permission. The end of the semester is near...very near. I am thrilled, scared and sad all in the same thought. I have had a wonderful Anatomy lab this semester and I am not anxious for that to be over, but on the other hand I am really looking forward to the class being over. Don't get me wrong, I have really enjoyed it but I feel that we are severely limited in what we can learn without regular exposure to cadavers. I am fed up with the juvenile behavior exhibited by so many people that decide to crash the lab the week before a practical. We all spend a heck of a lot of time in there at those times, but is it REALLY necessary to break models and human bones for the sake of having fun? I think not. I had a couple of friends over today to study for a lecture exam that we have coming up on Thursday. I am seriously behind the ball on this one. Somehow, I need to pull it out by Thursday. I really don't have any doubt that it can be done, it is just a matter of if my mind will cooperate.

I have 2 doctor's appointments this week...or is it 3? Either way, I don't have time for anything outside of school until the semester is over. I know in my heart of hearts that I should also go to see my primary because another doc of mine is concerned about pancreatitis, but I DON'T HAVE TIME! It is 8:55 on Sunday night and while I could be studying, I am not. I am wallowing in self pity and self-disgust. I don't know why, but I know that whatever this is is not healthy.

Please God, help me hold up for 3 weeks.